Education For Treason
by BellaFeylin
Summary: Nemu Kurotsuchi Finally stands up to Mayuri and takes her life into her own hands. She feels she must explain her actions to someone so she picks Jushiro.
1. Starting with the Introduction

I have been the 13th Division Captain, for a few hundred years now. I, Jūshirō Ukitake, have always felt that in spite of my health my life was pretty good. The grounds of my division are more wooded than the others and my family's estate is even prettier. Everywhere I go there seems to be inherent beauty. This only increased after Captain Unohana, such a wonderful woman, suggested that pleasant surroundings would improve or maintain my condition. My subordinates were only too happy to oblige

Retsu Unohana is a wonderful woman. The memories I have of her. Back when I had just become a captain. We had been lovers, briefly, for one incredibly passionate year. Intense and vivid memories of flesh and sweat all tangled in sheets and moans. Memories that, even now, can melt night into day. We could never have lasted and have no chance of returning to what we once were. I crave two things she will never give me. Children are not something she would ever want with such an unhealthy man. Not that that is something she alone feels. No woman would want to bring life into this world with me when I could loose mine any day. The other being the reason she hid behind when she broke their relationship off was he wanted different things in the bed room than she could give. She tried to enjoy being tied up but it wasn't in her. The thing is I couldn't enjoy myself unless she enjoyed it too. Shibari was about pressure points of pleasure. It was meant to look beautiful and be enjoyed. I also suspect my friend of being unable to invest in a romantic relationship with the man who represents one of her few failures as a healer.

After the time I spent with her I never had many more long term girlfriends. The few times a woman tried to over look my health she was reminded often all too graphically later on. Shorter lived dalliances were often interrupted by subordinates or coughing fits. My last night with a woman ended early due to a messy fit. I think she is warning others from even going near me.

In spite of my health life is still pretty good. I have Shunsui to go drinking with and to laugh at. He manages to fail even worse than me when it comes to finding a long term romance. He almost had something with Lisa but Aizen took that chance away. Nanao will have none of what he offers although in her defense he never has really tried with her. I can tell he is afraid. No one in my life has much luck any more in love but friendship and loyalty we have. We have that in spades.

Life is good. It has to be. We fought for peace and we have won. This is what we live and fight for. Good friends, great subordinates and even better teachers, which has to be reason enough. Although the look on Shunsui's face after Yamamoto scolded him for loosing his jacket made my day.

On peaceful days like this it is best to go to the training grounds and encourage the younger shinigami to excel. The fresh air and sunshine isn't bad either.

There is a spot I love to watch the "Flower training grounds" is its nick named because of the beauty of its location and its frequent occupation by female shinigami. In my division, yes, I do have a good life.

There is a woman standing in one of the beige cloaks used for missions to Hueco Mundo and while no part of her is visible her figure can be seen under the cloth. She is on the far edge body turned my direction. I reach for my sword and she holds her hands up above her head. And throws back the cloak and shunpos over to me. Lieutenant Nemu Kurotsuchi is not who I expected to see. I'm not sure what I expected but she was not on the list. "Captain Ukitake I apologies for surprising you." Her voice is respectful and even but there is a tightness to her eyes that is just barely noticeable so if anything is showing something must be terribly wrong.

"You all right Lieutenant?" I look at her, everything about her form points to hesitation and worry.

"No Captain I am not." She removes the cloak revealing a large bruise on her arm and a large stack of papers in her other hand. The injured arm is hanging loosely at her side.

"Do you need to go to the 4th division?" I ask her genteelly because while I am aware of and in awe of her pain tolerance I doubt she needs reminding of such a dislocation and or break as what is hanging limp at her side. I still asked anyway.

"No." She looks at my eyes looking at her arm. "I'll be fine, this is more pressing." She gestures to the papers in her hands. A massive stack all tied together with wires.

"I'm sure what ever your Captain has you working on can wait until you are healed" I move to take the cloak from off her shoulders.

She winces in pain as if I struck her arm when I mentioned her father. She looks up at me in the eyes "He knows nothing of my current course of action. If he did I would be dead." She says with a cold resolve. One more similar to how Shunsui gets when provoked then anything anyone has ever told of this woman standing in front of me.

"Nemu, what are you talking about?" I ask her studying her face.

She smiles and pushes her good hand through the strap on the stack and offers a hand to me. "Would you please escort me somewhere more private? Where me may speak alone and undisturbed. For I have things I need to confess to and no idea who to tell or what parts are relevant so it may take much longer than necessary, which I apologies for in advance. Please, Captain Ukitake can I take up you time?" I see her struggling to look pleasant and cheerful.

What is Kurotsuchi doing now? Right after Aizen too and today was looking so lovely. I sigh and take her hand. "Yes, Come with me to my office."

She nods. "Thank you Captain."

The whole way to the office they walk together in silence.


	2. Still Introducing me to you

Once we return to the office my two third seats stumble in offering tea. Both of them seem at a loss to explain Lieutenant Kurotsuchi's presence here. I brought her here and I'm not entirely sure I could explain it. The girl who doesn't speak wants to have along talk with me. "Could you two please serve us tea and go about your other duties I have promised the Lieutenant a private audience for the afternoon."

They hesitate but soon start comically bickering over which one gets to serve me tea. Kiyone wins this time so Sentaro pours for the Lieutenant. She gracefully reaches with her good hand for the tea and sips it. She also manages to hide her broken arm under the cloak. The pressure from it can't be doing anything but hurting her further. She doesn't show the pain on her face. Just how I am not sure if I have seen any emotion on her face in the decades I have known this woman.

Sentaro looks at her and goes to say something but stops himself.

"Sentaro what is it?" If I ask him he will say it and if he says it now he will be more agreeable in leaving while to be honest I am incline to post pone being alone with the Lieutenant. She is causing me unease. It isn't like she has threatened me or ever done me harm. Actually I can't think of a time she has harmed anyone when she wasn't ordered to do so by her captain.

"Captain Can I ask the Lieutenant a question?" He looks a bit embarrassed.

"If she doesn't mind." I look at her.

She looks at me then at him and nods. "Sure but please after this will you leave us alone to have our talk?"

He nods "Would you tell me the most important thing about being a Lieutenant?"

Sentaro really, this is neither the time nor the person to ask that of. Well no, she is a Lieutenant and little is known of her ways. Fine, I won't interrupt but why would he choose to ask this of her when Nanao was just over recently and I can't remember him ever asking that of her. That doesn't mean he hasn't just that I am not aware of it.

"There are only two things you need to be a Lieutenant. Anything else is unimportant or an extension of one or both of the two duties." She looks at the two third seats then to her tea. "One of the duties and the most obvious one is to support and meet the needs of your captain. If you can learn to try and anticipate the captian's needs before the captain knows it is needed you are only half way there." She swirls her tea around and looks up at the two of them "The other half is to protect your fellow squad members at any cost."

Kiyone looks up at her "Which is more important if you have to choose?"

Nemu looks at the window "That is a question you must answer for yourself."  
>She meets their eyes for moments. "The answer shapes what sort of person you are."<p>

Interesting answer because to be honest that sounds like the sort of thing Shunsui or I would say to a new captain. Who is this girl? What has Mayuri been hiding? She said he knows nothing of her visit today, so I wonder what I am about to learn? "What sort of person are you Lieutenant?" I can't help but ask.

"I don't know yet. I will tell you when I find out Captain Ukitake." She looks me straight in the eyes with her deep green orbs that usually hold no emotion but I think are starting to reveal pain. Maybe not, maybe I am reaching for something recognizable in her eyes. "Now that I have given you the best answer I can to your question will you please leave your captain to me?" She looks at them.

Kiyone and Sentaro look to me for my answer to the request for them to leave. I nod. They must find her too strange to trust her. I would say I wished they could be better people than that but since she gives me pause as well I can't expect of them what I myself can't even do.

Why does she bother everyone so much? Because of Mayuri and her lack of emotion. Other captains have been known to be expressionless but most of them leave their main expression as a smile. If it wasn't for her lack of smile or her creepy father I would say she is very similar to Captain Unohana. Well what she was like when she was younger.

Sentaro and Kiyone together "Goodbye Captain, I will be around should you have need of me! Quit copying me!" They shove each other out the door. Leaving me alone with Nemu Kurotsuchi.

She sips her tea again before setting it down. She pushes off the cloak, no longer needing to hide her injury. Most wouldn't expect her to understand why you would want to hide an injury from subordinates and strangers. It seems when her father isn't around she has more depth. "Captain Ukitake this stack of paper is every piece of data I was asked to not file or hide from Captain Yamamoto. All of this is the data on forbidden projects or data that would have made existing projects forbidden."

I take the massive stack, almost a foot tall all bound up and smashed. "Why would you give me this?"

"It is a precaution on my part." She says looking at me.

"Are you trying to win favor and a lesser punishment for turning in Captain Kurotsuchi?" I say to her but I think more to myself. I don't think it will work. If the data is as bad as I suspect it might be than I doubt this will save you.

"No, I am trying to assure the safety of my subordinates should I fail in my treason." She looks at me but her hand shakes slightly.

"Treason? After what happened to Aizen, you sure you want to go through with it?" She looks so afraid, I think. This one is so hard to read. Treason what would her reasoning be. She just said she is betraying her captain which wouldn't he be her reason for her actions? Unless she means to go against her captain, if that is the case she would still need to buy her forgiveness for her part in Mayuri's actions, unless the Head Captain takes her abused history into account. Should she warrant forgiveness.

"I plan to betray my creator, if that isn't high treason what is?" She looks me in the eyes. Okay so betraying Mayuri to turn him in for what ever he did. Something seems to be missing. Why would she want to? Unless that is what she meant by her answer to Kiyone's question earlier but that still doesn't explain why she would need to go to such lengths.

She looks at me and I look at her. "Lieutenant, why are you doing this?"

She pauses "That is a long story I doubt you wish to hear because I am unable to narrow my reasoning down to anyone or two events but a great number of pivotal moments in my life all building to this." She looks down.

"If you plan to use me to get your Captain killed then you at least owe me your reason." I look at her.

"I plan to do it myself, but should I fail yes I do hope you will finish the job. If that is what you require to go through with it than I will tell you." She looks at me and sips the tea. "I was created for the first half of a lieutenant's duties." She visibly considers something. "I was created to meet every whim and anticipate every desire, every need. I am told this goes past the duties of a lieutenant." She looks at the tea. "He taught me sex before teaching me how to speak. I am told that this is an act worth mentioning." She looks up at me again with no embarrassment or shame across her face.

This is going just where I feared it would. No one has ever interfered in his activities concerning her because she would simply never speak against him and without her permission no one would brave going against a fellow captain, simply because the only people willing to consider it are captains. If she is willing to speak I will hear her out completely. "Please tell me everything from the beginning."

"Yes Captain."

Author notes: Fixed some typos. Next chapter will be more graphic no citrus yet, well it might be considered a lime if you squint. Possible citrus in either four or five though. Wont be Ukitake.


	3. Things about him that show me you

Lieutenant Kurotsuchi just sat there and looked at me. "I was created to be a lab assistant, Lieutenant, be obedient and to provide physical comforts."

"What is that like? What is expected of you day in and day out?" I'm not sure how well I will be able to sit and listen if it is even half of what it is rumored to be.

She looks at me. "He is very specific with his routines. He takes his coffee ten minutes after waking, breakfast twenty minutes after waking: sweet breakfasts twice a week, spicy breakfast twice a week, bland breakfasts when hung-over, and any over time simple nutrition bar with vitamin water. I am expected to wake early for the more elaborate meals to either cook them myself or order it made. This is expected for all his other meals. I am to stay with him at all times unless there is an exception. I assist him during his baths and showers. I wash his back and take notes of any musings he has while washing or relaxing. His relaxed states are still busy. His mind races and continues to drain his body. So from time to time in order to try and give his mind rest I try to distract him. I give him massages to help his muscles relax. Should an experiment ever lead to negative effects on his person it is my responsibility to heal him. As rare as those moments they are troubling to him. Also I am expected to never mention anything to anyone that would in any way negatively affect his image and in turn his ego." She pauses to take a sip of tea.

So far it almost seems normal. Okay not normal but not as horrid as everyone implies with their silence.

"When my Captain trains I am at hand because I am the only member of our division with any sort of physical fortitude able to withstand him." She sets the tea down again. "Any time he becomes frustrated it is my responsibility to let him use my body to vent these frustrations. He designed me to with stand his beatings. He designed me so well that sometimes I have to heal his hands from the damage they incur while beating me." She says this with detached ease.

I would suspect she truly didn't feel pain from discussing this with me but I know the visuals have to be a lie. The woman has any emotion underneath the years of barriers she has built for her survival. She is in pain and hides it. If by some chance she truly can't feel I'm not sure I want to know because would such a being be trusted in her position?

She takes another sip. "I am to follow and assist him at his orders in combat. Any time I am not running errands for him or the Shinigami Women's Association I would be at his side. I am providing another set of hands for his use in the labs. In the labs everything is just as he wishes it. And when he needs physical release from just the amount of time since his last release or because a project is going well and causing him excitement. I use my body to give him release." She finishes the cup of tea. "From what little I know of sex and sexuality I have learned he is as selfish and violent in this part of his life as he is in every other. I never reacted to his touch. I was modified to be able to lubricate at will so I don't have to enjoy it. I was told by my other partners that my body has modifications that add to my partner's pleasure. I almost always require healing after Mayuri is done because he never can have pleasure without beating me. Thankfully we have a number of healers in our division. This is a fact our captain likes to keep hidden. Most of his higher ranked officers are not just gifted scientists but some type of healer. I personally specialize in pathogens and antidotes."

Did she just admit to incest? Even if one doesn't consider it incest it is still rape. She was never given a choice in these matters. Modification for pleasure, not sure I want to know. She finally has admitted to enough to get them separated into different divisions even should he not be executed. I'll ask her to report him for that later. Sex, violence and disease all mean the same thing to her. No she said other partners, so sex with Mayuri is the same as violence and disease but maybe she has healthier relations else where. I always get too protective of children. The more she talks the clearer it becomes that while her body is woman and she is a brilliant scientist, so much of her is a child.

"Little things like paper work just don't matter to me. Lab reports, transfer requests, supply orders, exectra… just are a part of life like meals. I will never understand while it is such an issue in other divisions. I have been told we generate exponentially more paper work in the S.R.D.I. than most other divisions. I think only the 4th and the 1st could compare." She looks at the pot of tea. "Would you like another cup Captain?"

I take the pot before she can. "I've got it." I pour for us both. From sex to paper work, her life must be a nightmare. "So every rumor told about him is true?"

"No, not every rumor. The majority are true though. By extension that would make most of the rumors about me true." She looks away and takes a sip. "I know that a great deal of the ones dealing with me are about me level of humanity. I do feel things but I have a limited education on most everything relating to interpersonal relations and emotional awareness. The two lovers I have had have found these facts taxing and in the end too much to deal with." She pauses. "I like to believe I have learned from each of them improved and gotten better but I lack any real data. Even still I owe so much to them and was able to give them so little." Regret is clear on her face. What she is regretting is beyond me. If she was someone else I would guess regretting not being able to hold on to the men who must have brought with them happiness, how ever fleeting.

Two lovers? Mayuri must not have known about them because he doesn't strike me as the type to share. That would mean she has been able to go behind his back for a while now. I think that is a good thing. That must be part of what she is explaining.

"I learned with the rest of the division that our Captain will kill his subordinates on a whim. Most of those whims are flash rages but there is a limited supply of shinigami qualified to be officers in the division and lead the S.R.D.I." She takes a swig of tea before setting it down. "It was a waste of our Captain's time and resources to constantly be retraining new recruits also new people tended to be shorter lived than people he was used to. He is a man of habit. So I found a way to stop him from killing them that was more than 98% successful." She sets the glass down. "I would clumsily knock something over while he was raging at one of the subordinates which would redirect his rage at me. I can take his rage, the subordinate survives and fixes what ever displeased the captain, and the captain doesn't have to find new officers every few weeks." She looks me in the eyes.

So there is the second half of her Lieutenant duties. Deceiving him to please him and protect the subordinates. How is he still a captain? Because everyone fears him too much to have him removed and those who do not fear him do not care enough to do anything. I would be guilty of the latter. You have succeeded in what ever you are planning for me. Will give the Head captain your papers and see to it that your captain pays for his abuses. "How frequent are beatings that are as bad as today's?" I can see her arm is nearly wrenched from its socket and looks broken between the elbow and shoulder in a few places. I can see her hand is swollen and her fingers are bent at strange angles on that hand. There is a thick bruise barely visible on her upper thigh. I can guess that her short uniform is hiding so much more.

"Well today's was little a bit more than normal. Not by much, usually the arm isn't hanging like this. Then again this isn't anywhere near as bad as it has been. He regularly has to reactivate me."

"What is reactivation?"

"It is complicated. There is a potion he has that he uses to repair me but it is so taxing on the body that I tend to shutdown. So he has another potion that he applies that forces me to remain awake and functioning through this or when I get damaged enough that I shut down completely I just get both at once as well. The reactivation is so sensory that I do dread it even if it feels intense, mimics many of the same sensations as a very intense orgasm. So nearly being beaten to death was for the longest part of my life the only physical pleasure I knew." She rambles on past the answer. She looks down at the cup in her hand.

"Lieutenant Kurotsuchi I cannot allow this to continue without two things." That arm looks awful but I know she is going to fight me on it. I can't stand watching her like this though she must be in so much pain. I know I would not be able to be as calm in her condition. She must be in more pain than anyone else could take and still function.

"My abilities are limited but I should still be able to perform most tasks." She looks up at me. She doesn't say yes or no just reminds me of her injury being in her way. To her that must be all she allows it to be, an inconvenience. Up until today, her ever word and gesture has been submissive. She has lived to please a man who is incapable of being pleased. She is now trying, fighting against herself to be more than that in order to go against everything in her nature.

Her hair is over her good shoulder and her big green eyes are looking up at me. "What do you require Captain Ukitake?"

I need a chaperone. Everything that has fallen from your lips since you removed your hood has made me wish to murder your creator. What do you really expect of me? Only what you claim? To make sure he is taken care of should you, dear sweet broken girl, fail to kill that monster? You don't even see your honor. You don't see that that is all you have to say to those around you. You are doing this to protect their honor, those underneath you who depend on you, to claim some honor of your own.

"Nemu, I need you to report this officially." I say gently. She doesn't seem bothered by the informal usage of her name. "Nemu. I need you to tell a few more people this." I reach out and lightly touch her hand. She feels real. Like a real girl, with real emotions and pain. She flinches and I can't tell if it is because of the words or my touch. I remove my hand.

She looks out the window. "I can't say it…in front of him." All that strength and resolve melted. I'm sorry Nemu. Her shoulders hunch as much as the broken one will let her. Her down cast eyes hide behind thick black bangs. So scared, this must be taking everything you have to tell me. I can only do so much for you without help. These accusations are so offensive I need more witnesses. Even after what Aizen did, the rules still require you to be a bit braver. Maybe she won't have to say this in front of the head captain and her captain; but maybe if Shunsui listens with me?

She is all but cowering at the thought of having to face her father with words. "Nemu, what if you told one or two more people? Captain Kyoraku is kind and will hear you out. Also his Lieutenant is in the Shinigami Women's Association with you. Nanao often speaks very highly of your abilities to manage Lieutenant Kusajishi."

She looks up "Lieutenant Ise would be disappointed in me. To see me like this. Any time I am injured she makes an expression I think means disappointment. And Lieutenant Kusajishi is my friend. She and I play sometimes, nothing more." She looks like she is trying to stop me. Then that flicker of protest is gone from her eyes before she finishes speaking. In the end it is just a whisper.

"Captain Kyoraku would not mind helping with this. He loves to assist a beautiful woman." Nemu you must know that much. You have had lovers; did they not tell you how lovely you are? Do you know anything of the power you have over the men around you? Nanao wasn't disappointed in you. If anything she was frustrated at the state of helplessness we all are in. You won't reach out to us and we can't help you till you do. I need Shunsui here to corroborate so I can help you. Then you will be able to find what it is that you should be using your talents for.

She looks at me. "If you think it necessary." She looks down at her tea again.

She fears me. She fears everyone it would appear or does she just fear men with power over her? I loathe that vile man for forcing me into the same position as him.

I walk to the door and open it but before I do I end up coughing. Not just a little it seems. Damn, I am trying to do something body, let me have this. The fit doesn't want to negotiate. I find myself lifted and set down on the now empty table. Nemu carried me one handed and cleared the table for me in seconds. "I am not worth this exertion." She lays a rag damp with tea on my forehead and brushes my hair back. She hands me another rag to spit into. Blood again. "If only I was allowed to offer to experiment on someone of my rank or higher." Her eyes are on my face and neck glancing over to my chest. She caresses my cheek.

The sound of footsteps precedes the demolition of my door and possibly wall from the sound of things. Kiyone's voice "you will not experiment on my captain!"

Sentaro's joins her "Get your hands away from him."

One of them push her and she lands on her bad arm. She merely grunts and hisses slightly. "I would never break such a rule." She says pulling herself back to her knees. No visible anger on her face after being pushes over by Kiyone.

I try to sit up but Nemu's good hand reaches out and stops me before they can even protest. She turns to them. "I am not harming him. We were talking and the topic seems to have caused physical stress. I was trying to get him comfortable when you two saw fit to destroy your captain's door. Now I imagine the draft that will create will cause him great discomfort come evening. Loyal subordinates taking care of their beloved Captian. I would never wish to interfere with that but since I am not aware of the method your division uses to order repairs…" She trails off letting them fill in the blanks.

They are speechless but look to me for a moment before racing to be the one to fix the door first. Kido isn't that effective. What ever mental magic she just worked on them is rare and I need to learn it. "Thank you Nemu." I go to sit up but her hand doesn't budge. Her arm is stronger than steel.

"Maybe it would be better to let your pulse rate settle back to resting rate before sitting up and experiencing the rapid drop in blood pressure on top of it." She places her fingers on my throat and listens to my pulse.

I lay back and let her have her way. "Is this what you are like with your men?" She is so different from the woman who is so often just a shadow.

"No." She shakes her head. "I am not sure what you are asking but this is neither how I am with my subordinates nor how I have been with either lover." She pets my hair back and then jumps.

Shunsui's spirit pressure is approaching. There is a familiar voice seconds later. "Playing doctor with the innocent lieutenant? How scandalous!" he fakes a sound of shock. He is laughing "You okay there Jushiro?"

Could your timing be any worse?


	4. Zanpakuto and Sake

"Jushiro, just what is going on here?" Shunsui smirks looking around at our positions and the contents of the room. "Should I be arresting the lovely Lieutenant or possibly you? Just what have you convinced her to do to you?" He kneels down next to me and pulls out some sake. He hands a cup to each of us.

Nemu looks at Shunsui. "If you think I should be arrested then why are you serving me drinks?" She looks puzzled. "Sleeping poisons supplied by the 4th division do not work on me." She holds the cup out anyway which he fills.

"Jushiro what have you been doing!" Shunsui smirk turns to a dark glare over Nemu's arm. "Why am I not seeing a 4th division healer in here?"

I shake my head and sigh "She refuses to have it looked at. She says that this is normal Shunsui." I pause for him to let that sink in. "So there must be some method for her recovery that doesn't involve the healers." I try to sit up and they both put hands out to keep me flat. Shunsui chuckles at it and the wet spot on his person from Nemu's cup sloshing on his coat.

"My, my. This beautiful woman is willing to spill her sake for your health Jushiro." He continues chuckling until a more controlled expression lands on her arm. "Dear Lieutenant, please do what ever is needed to make you whole again or I will call in Captain Unohana."

This is the other reason I wanted Shunsui here. He would insist on her getting help. He would play the fool and try to make himself less threatening all the while forcing his way. Something I'm not quiet as gifted at doing.

Then his goofier face takes a hold and he leans over me, I have become their table it seems. "Please, please make yourself better Nemu. You look so lovely when you are whole and healthy." He reaches out and lightly touches the end of her braid. "Jushiro what is it with you and braided women? Did I walk in on something private?" He is grinning. He knows it wasn't but he really loves teasing me for my current "dry spell" as the younger shinigami call it.

Okay seriously this is neither the time nor the place. He could be trying to flustering me to put her at ease. I'm not sure if that is the best method to use with her Shunsui. It does take the attention off of her for a few seconds. It does give her time to deal with his presence and requests.

I say to him. "Braids enhance feminine charms. Accent curves and well you know what they look like." I sit up, finally. They even let me get off the table and sit with them. Thinking about rope is not good. Nemu tied up with her braid or a rope. Stop thinking about it, underneath that uniform are ugly bruises not the lovely creamy smooth flesh that should be there. I might kill Shunsui and Mayuri tonight, for different reasons.

Nemu looks over at us. "I have been waiting." She looks down again. "I have been trying to recover some power, so that I might not need reactivation when I go to heal." She swirls what is left in her cup around looking at it.

Shunsui takes a sip of the sake looking over the top of his glass. "What is reactivation?"

I look at Nemu. She looks at Shunsui "Captain Kyoraku, I am aware that Captain Mayuri has on a number of occasions mentioned that my physiology is different from others. Reactivation is what is needed when the intense healing methods over load my body causing me to become deactivated."

"Jushiro umm, what is she saying?" He looks at me but doesn't wait for me to answer. This is bothering him as much as it is bothering me. "That she regularly dies and requires chemical assistance to even live because of her Captain's… malevolent impatience?" He looks at me with a more serious look than he gave her.

"Yes and the side effects make Lieutenant Abarai make blush. He told me once."

Nemu looks at us. "Yes, Captain Mayuri had to reactivate me during his fight with one of the Espada. Both Lieutenant Abarai and The Quincy witnessed it." She smiles. "The division sent some recording devices with the captain so I was able to go back and watch what happened in it's entirety. They accused Captain Mayuri of performing a sexual act on me in the middle of battle. His response greatly offended the Quincy." Stops and takes a swig of the sake that didn't slosh when she tried to stop me. "That was a good day for The Captain. He got to use his bankai and show off a new drug." She pauses "There was one thing about that day I never quite understood and I believe I am in the company of someone who could clarify it one of you would be so kind."

Shunsui nods. "What do you want to know?"

Nemu looks at him. "I can understand Ishida Uryuu's reaction. He is a child and virginal people tend to get embarrassed when presented with sexuality."

I made the mistake of taking a sip before she spoke and almost spit it out. The coughing isn't helped by drinking more.

Nemu reaches out and brushes my hair out of my face. She gets up and walks around the table sitting on my other side and now rubs my back. Her delicate but firm touch is smooth and calming. She smells so good. Her good arm is the one touching me putting her lovely black braid between us. It smells like lilacs and linen. All the other 12th division members usually reek of chemicals and she smells real. When it is over, her eyes are flickering all over my body. For all I know she can watch my pulse so I can only guess what she is looking at. She moves her hand up to my hair pulls the curtain back that it formed and caresses the side of my cheek with the back of her hand. "I'm sorry if my question offended you Captain. I retract it as it is unimportant." The concern for my health is visible on her face as is some internal struggle. She takes her hand away and picks her cup back up.

It wasn't a good day for you though was it, that day with the Espada?

Shunsui "What is so sexual about it?" He looks at me then back to her.

She looks up at him. She goes to touch my throat again but I push her hand away. She nods and goes to return to sitting on her side of the table. "There are two potions that get put on my skin. One taxes my body past its natural healing abilities while the other potion forces me to stay awake and feel everything. I tend to get a bit vocal due to the intense sensations. It has been compared to the sounds a woman makes during sex." She blushes "It does at times feel similar to an orgasm as well."

Shunsui sits there a second and thinks about what she has said. "So because your healing potion may kill you, you want to wait. If it does kill you another brings you back with loud and powerful orgasms. I think that is the first invention from your captain that I have heard about that I should like." He doesn't really like it though. He looks up at her. "Do you have both on you?"

At least Shunsui is working, but your perversion never ceases to amaze me. I look to the girl in front of us. Her face and eyes are lovely. Her hair is even lovelier. Her body it not something I should think about but her curves, each, hold so much promise. Yeah, Shunsui you're the pervert here.

She nods and reaches into her bosom to pull out two tiny vials. One has clear and blue fluid with a blue bottle holding maybe an ounce. The other bottle holds thick opal white liquid in a slightly pinkish glass. Both bottles are elegant and look like they should hold expensive perfume. They are small at the container part but have long tapered lids that seem to double as handles. "They are applied to the interior skin of my vulva. While any wet membrane would work that one is especially useful since swallowing isn't a risk. Stomach acid tends to break it down before it can be absorbed. That area is best, since there it can just be inserted and soaked up. There is also ample surface area for it to enter."

Shunsui and I are both refilling our glasses before she finishes that explanation. Nemu you truly have no clue how desirable and innocent you are if you are able to be so detached about discussing this. I can feel the heat of a blush in my cheeks.

"I would need one of you to reactivate me should the healing potion not work. Otherwise…" She looks away from us and out the hole where the door once stood.

"Jushiro will do it." Shunsui slaps me on the back hard. "He is good at help people." My face is burning up.

Shunsui takes a large swig from his cup and shoots me a look against me suggesting him. "I had no clue, how much fun it would be to visit with you today, if I had, I would have skipped out of work sooner." A taunting grin has taken over his entire face. His words are playful but he finds this whole situation as depressing and wrong as I do.

Okay I am not doing that. She is going to be healed, by a healer, not that method. I look at her "What is the need for these potions. Your Captain isn't here. We can just get a healer."

She looks torn. "He will know. The healers have so many papers to fill and he regularly searches his officer's names to make sure we aren't heading there to undo an experiment he is conducting at any time." She looks at us. "We have to fill out detailed reports of how much, where and to what extent healing energy went through a body." She looks at us. "With this there are just two forms to fill. One for each potion. Fewer variables to account for."

I look at her, catch her eyes and hold them with mine and say firmly. "If you truly wish to go through with what you told me earlier you will need to stop assisting him." I think the blush was gone so I might have even looked caring or authoritative.

Shunsui just looks at us but I shoot him a look to stay quiet.

"Please Nemu." I reach out again and touch her hand. "I will ask Captain Unohana. She is always kind and gentle. You need healing, while you may be able to take such great amounts of pain, the rest of us have trouble watching you in this condition. Also you might be able to convince her to postpone submitting the paperwork for her work on you today."

She lets me finish speaking before pulling her hand back. She looks at me and nods. "You are right." She pulls a short sword from the back of her uniform. The grip is longer than would be used on such a small blade. The wrapping on her hilt is green and the guard is a bit off from my angle. She looks at us. "Inugami Lick" The sword releases and becomes a double ended double edged dagger unscrewing the two apart. She pulls a vial out from the end of one of them, from between them, and pockets it and replaces it with another. The other vial is empty. She starts to screw it back together. The blades are about a foot long each and a foot between them. It grew quite a bit during release. One side is silver like blades are and the other side is green and ethereal looking. It looks like a twin blade but coated in a film of Kido.

"What are you doing Nemu?" I ask her. She isn't going to fight him now just to get permission to heal herself, is she?

"I intend to heal my self. It is as you said. I no longer have to obey my Captain's orders if I plan to challenge him."

Shunsui chokes on his drink and looks shocked. "Did I hear you right? You plan to challenge your Captain in front of everyone for his rank?"

She nods and positions the dagger over her thigh.

"Jushiro, what have I missed this morning?" He looks at me.

I put my hands up in front of me. "I am about as shocked as you and I heard once already."

He looks at her deeply.

While we were talking she took the distracted moment to align her dagger with some part of her body, stabbing down just as we look back at her. It is our turn to stay her movement with our hands. It wasn't easy.

"Nemu, what are you doing?" I ask still holding her Zanpakuto steady an inch from her thigh.

Nemu blinks. "I thought I was doing what you suggested. I'm confused I must have misunderstood. I was trying to heal without a healer or a potion." She looks at me with the bottle green eyes wide and her lips in a slight pout.

I nod. "That was what was suggested. So why are you stabbing yourself in the thigh?" We both are still holding the handle of the dagger above her body.

"Inugami has two shikai abilities. Both are used on contact. It all depends on which blade is used." She looks so confused and innocent.

"Can you tell us what they do and why we should let you stab yourself?" I look her in the eyes. She nods her head and looks at me then to Shunsui.

"Inugami is has two blades, one of virulent poison and the other heals. They are tongues in magical mouths." She looks confused. "I am aware of which end is which. Also I am not effect by sword's poison but it is very happy to repair me when needed."

"Nemu, if your Zanpakuto is so powerful and helpful why doesn't anyone else know this?" I ask continuing to watch her eyes. She is being completely truthful. I think.

She is smiling. "Inugami is not aloud to be used because where his sword won't kill me; Inugami has tried to kill him twice. Both times were accidents. The first was because he thought the blood rule would work backwards and the second was when I…." she trails off and looks away. Her smile gone replaced with some sort of painful memory. She also doesn't need to say who the "he" she is talking about is.

"The second was also an accident." She whispers as if trying to convince herself. "Now may I please stab myself and get whole again?" She looks at us confused and patient waiting for an answer.

Shunsui shrugs, letting go, downs the end of his cup and speaks while refilling it. "Sure, if it will really heal you."

She nods and waits. Her eyes are glued to mine. I nod and release her handle.

She stabs her thigh and the entire room glows green for a moment. The room fills with her spirit pressure as well and while there is a lot of it, it isn't violent like many of the combat heavy shinigami have. This is more pleasant but still firm.

She mumbles to her sword. "No Inugami. I am not allowed to experiment on Captains." She sets the double dagger down on the table. "Thank you." She says before letting it go. Her lips are higher up than before. She has just the tiniest hint of a smile at her mouth, but her eyes are warm and welcoming. She folds her hands in her lap and while her uniform is cut where she stabbed herself there is no other sign she was ever injured. Her arm is whole and healthy, and her bruise is gone as well.

Kiyone and Sentaro run in dropping supplies to fix the door outside. "Captain! What was that spirit pressure?"

I just look at them. "Nemu displayed a shikai ability for Captain Kyoraku and me. No need to worry." I sit and watch them stumble over themselves to get back to the supplies.

Shunsui stretches and yawns. "Would you like to move this to my office? I believe Little Nanao is done for the day."

Nemu's expression falls again. She really doesn't want Nanao to see this. I guess shame while not necessary is an improvement from before. I look at him. "Why don't we just go to my home? They will fix the door before morning. There is a mountain of papers Nemu brought I need to look at and I am sure if these get mixed with you division's paper work it will cause your Lieutenant much more concern than needed." I lift the foot tall bundle.

Shunsui winces "I leave paper work to find more." He pouts and whimpers. "Nemu…why are you being as mean as my Little Nanao?"

Nemu looks confused. "I do not get why you are so offended? It is just some documents. They are already filled." She looks to me for direction.

"Shunsui just come with us." I sigh.

Nemu looks over at me. "Captain? Have you recovered from your fit earlier? I could carry you if you haven't."

I look over at her and smile. "I'll be fine to walk." I say before my 3rd seats can offer.

Author's note: Sorry, while drinking and writing is fine, I have learned drinking and posting isn't. I fixed a lot in this chapter. Plan to move on. I think I am going to start up a parallel fic from Shunsui or Nanao's point of view show casing their relationship. Tell me in the reviews if you would like it? Saddly I think I might a lemon there sooner than here. I promise there will be lemons eventually just not yet.

I listen to Emilie Autumn or Bleach OST when writing.

I have been drinking Arbor Msit, working my way through the flavors.

I have my bright pink notebooks and folders for this. I also admit most of the brainstorming or even a great deal of the writing is being done while heading to and from work; I take a bus, when I am on break or waiting before my shift starts. I then write it out in Word at home before posting. The compy time is when I drink. No drinky at worky.


	5. More Healing possiblilties

Once back at my home, we settle into my private study. Shunsui takes the couch. I end up in my chair at the desk while Nemu doesn't even try to relax until asked. She takes the seat across from me. I take the stack and start going through it, reading it. I hand the more interesting pieces back to her, for her to hand to Shunsui. We go like that well into the night. Eventually growling stomachs take over the silence and Shunsui stands.

"Jushiro, I am going to call it a night and be back in the morning, to read through the rest." He puts his hat on and then looks at me. "She is staying here tonight right?"

I nod and then so does he. "Good." He says and goes out.

"Why do you want me to stay here?" I turn my head to see Nemu's eyes on mine again. For someone so often expressionless she sure tries to read others. Mayuri did an amazing job creating you but how much of you are his and how much of what stands before me trying to read my soul is yours?

"You can't return home and I doubt you wish to involve your friends in this. So please stay the night here Nemu. I will get you a change of uniform and maybe something I have around here would fit you for bed. There is a room down the hall from mine you can stay in."

She just nods then pauses; she sighs and looks at me. "I'm sorry. I am being a burden to you." She shows a look of frustration.

I look at her and walk to her. "I won't deny that but this is very important. It is okay to burden others with things that matter." I lightly lay a hand on her newly healed shoulder. She doesn't flinch at all. "Let's get some dinner and then talk more about how you are handling things? Alright?" She nods.

We end up in my dining room. There is no one else in there at the moment. It is so late everyone else is asleep. I found some of the leftovers from the evening meal and place it out between us. "Everything looks like it will be good still while cold."

She eats looking up from time to time to study the room or me. She doesn't miss the fact I'm watching her. The room is wide and airy. It is done in a traditional style like the rest of my home, all dark lacquered woods and pale linens with family pictures around of my siblings. "Captain Ukitake what do you want to know?"

"Why did you come to me?"

She sets her chopsticks down. "Because every time I have ever heard of someone needing help with something and their own captain can't fix it but it isn't something to bother Captain Yamamoto with, they come to you. You are wise and kind. I also have always wished to talk with you more." She goes back to eating.

I smile at her. "I'm glad you think so highly of me. What do you mean by wishing to talk with me more?" I watch the way her hands move and the way her eyes take everything in.

She pauses again and hesitates for a bit before speaking. "I have had limited and ability to speak with the other officers outside of the 12th division. I have always looked forward to missions involving others outside of the division especially if I am sent without the captain. That is why I enjoy the Shinigami Women's Association. I get to spend time with so many of the other women there. I feel like some of them even like it that I am there." She smiles. Her eyes lit up when talking about her membership in the club.

"That sounds nice. Outside of the club do you have many friends?" I ask her.

She shrugs "I'm not sure about the 'many' part but I do have friends out side of the club and division." She smiles "Surprisingly most of them are from or were once 11th division members. Most of the male Lieutienants are friendly. I get invited to go drinking with them when they invite Lieutenants Ise and Matsumoto." She takes another bite then continues. "Lieutenant Abarai has been really friendly since that mission. Lieutenant Matsumoto is convinced me has a crush on me but I am sure his feelings are for someone else. I'm not bothered since while he is sweet and attractive; I don't feel that way for him either." She pauses for another bite. She almost sounds like a normal girl speaking like this. "I was on a mission recently with the 11th' division's 3rd seat and 5th seat. We learned we get along really well. They are still really friendly too. I am even allowed to go through their Division grounds without an escort. Madarame and Ayasegawa both agree with Lieutenant Kusajishi that I am not a threat to them, if I am alone, so their Captain doesn't mind me either. Lieutenant Kusajishi asks me to watch the guys train sometimes and that is fun. I like watching their muscle ripple and I really like it once they get all sweaty. Though sometimes I wish I could train with others like that. I would never ask since, well, I'm not really that good at their style of melee combat. It must be fun though to be able to spend so much time with each other. They all say it is fine for me to watch since I am so quiet." She is smiling brighter and brighter the more she discusses the 11th division. That is strange since I always thought their divisions didn't get along.

"So does your Captain know you spend so much time with his rival?" I just watch her reaction. She looks down at her food.

"No, Captain, my captain doesn't know. He knows I spend a lot of time with Lieutenant Kusajishi but he doesn't know I go to spend time with the others as well. He doesn't know that sometimes when I'm there I don't even see the lieutenant. That I often go there when he doesn't even know I'm gone." She blushes after saying that. Did one or both of her lovers come from there? Good for you, finding happiness there. Most women over look them, view them as too rough. Then again after your experiences those men could appear gentle by comparison.

"So let's see, do you feel sleepy?" I look at her.

"No Captain."

"Good, I would like to keep talking but if you get tired please stop me." I smile at her and she nods. "Hmm, I admit to being very curious about you. You are different from many of the others. Can I ask you about some personal things?"

She nods. "I do not get embarrassed….ever. Feel free to inquire about anything to do with me, if I know it I will be willing to share. "

I nod "Do you feel scared. I mean considering what you are trying to do?"

"Yes"

"Do you think you will miss him?"

"Yes but at the same time I hope to move past him. I will keep a memory and the lessons learned but I need to get away from him. If I thought a division transfer would be enough I would do it. If I thought having him imprisoned would be enough I would do that. Neither action is enough. I need to purge him from the Seritie for not just myself or the division but for everyone."

"Couldn't you just turn him in and let the law handle it?" I look at her.

"What I plan to do is the law as well. It is how Captain Zaraki gained his seat. But no, I can't go the method you are suggesting." Her hands start to shake even though her face takes the neutral expression she is known for. "Captain, do you know how antibodies, antivemon, antitoxins and antibiotics function?"

I nod "I have a basic idea."

"Then you understand that those things are even more destructive than the things they destroy. Poisons and sickness are taken away by ripping them apart before they can finish what they are after. Captain Mayuri is slowly ruining everything he touches. It is clear with the test subjects that end up needing to be mopped up when he finished. He is slowly infecting the whole Seritie with that. He and Asiogi Jizo are going to plague us all to the point of his own destruction. He will either take down the whole soul society or get destroyed before he can do so. He isn't after perfection or even bettering anything. He wants to experiment and test things. He wants to take everything apart. He does every chance he gets. He couldn't even reproduce due to infertility brought on by his early experiments. He had to create me artificially because even if he could reproduce by more natural means. It would have to be rape. There isn't a shinigami woman ready to trust his experiments on her body. He created me to assist him in everything. So if his end goal is his own destruction, then I have to give it to him." She pauses and stares into my eyes for a whole minute.

She continues. "If I can do that, if I can purge us of him, maybe then I can learn to do something other than destroy." She pauses again but this time for only a few seconds. "If I can't I will offer myself up for destruction."

She is so matter of fact even mentioning the possibility of her own death. "What if you learn you can do something else? What do you do in your free time?"

"I assist female shinigami with getting rid of unwanted pregnancies. I won't ever tell anyone who I have helped, so please do not ask." She looks down at her food. "I watch the members of division 11 train. I train on my own. I assist Lieutenant Kusajishi with her projects like her tunnels and reprogramming soul candies." She smiles at that one, which is kind of scary since I have heard stories about strange soul candy behavior. "I would listen to Akon talk about life when he saw fit to share his thoughts. Ikkaku Madarame would talk with me for hours and so often we would realize we never said anything important. When I was with them I enjoyed learning to make love. I enjoyed just being near them when I could. I don't do any of that anymore though." She sighs and takes another bite. "I go out drinking or shopping when one of the others invites me. I try to study everyone's emotional expressions. I am trying to figure out what it is I feel and how I should and shouldn't express it. Akon found my lack of skill in that field annoying, and back then I was pitiful at expressing myself. So often he couldn't even tell if I wanted to be near him, even when that was all I wanted. I tried so hard to be more expressive with Ikkaku and he did love it. Still in the end that ended because I couldn't stand up to Mayuri. Ikkaku was right. I had no business being with him if I was going to hide everything at every moment." She looks away and closes her eyes. That hurt her.

Akon, from her division, and Ikkaku Madarame are her previous lovers. Akon I can understand, he has been in the division just a bit longer than Mayuri and Akon grew up there. He is just a bit older than her. Ikkaku is a bit harder to understand. He probably made her feel special or safe. He might have been her "bad boy." That is assuming the two men truly did try to have a relationship with her and didn't just take advantage of her.

"Nemu, you don't have to say anymore. Not unless you want to." I smile at her trying to encourage her to either continue or be comfortable stopping.

She nods. "What about you Captain? I read that one person should include others in the conversation. Ask direct questions in order to be polite."

I find myself chuckling before I can stop it. She looks at me confused. I answer her. "I mostly spend my time trying to get better or spending time with Shunsui and Nanao. When I have the energy I write or watch my division members train."

A number of things flash across her face all ending in a frown.

"What was that?" I ask. She is so intriguing. I want in her mind. I want to know what her flickers of emotion mean. I want to know how much she hides.

"I was regretting the fact I can't offer to experiment on you. I know of some ways to possibly treat you." She blushes with the last comment.

"Your own methods or things Mayuri wants to try?"

"Everything I'm thinking of is strictly forbidden by him even if the rule against experimenting wasn't in place." She blushes a bit more.

Something in there is blush worthy? I can't imagine the male form causes you to blush since you assist in all the experiments in your division. You must have seen hundreds of naked men. You should be as used to it as the 4th division women. So why are you blushing? Can I ask you out right with out you shutting down again? Will you run if I pry? "What would you try?"

"Well I wouldn't try the potions. Most people die with both on them. I might consider Inugami's power if you were just a bit healthier. As you are, I think, he would cause you too go into shock." She blushes deeper and then looks away. "I can think of only one course of treatment that would be effective and wouldn't risk your life. It is one of those things though that I am forbidden from suggesting. Not just forbidden by my captain or the head captain's rule against experimenting on a captain but because I have learned there are social rules that this would break. I have found that no matter how practical certain actions are, without the correct emotions behind them, the action becomes wrong." Her face begins to lighten.

So there is a way she could treat me but because of all the strange rules she can't do it and that there is something improper about it even if it was allowed. "Nemu, does what you are thinking about hurt anyone?"

She pauses and considers it. "Physically it would cause you no harm."

Is she hesitating for herself? I guess she might if she is trying to change and I really can't ask her to endanger herself. "Would it hurt you?"

"Maybe, that would entirely depend on your actions. It wouldn't have to but you might require it. Other than physically, I have no idea." Her blush is back slightly.

Okay, vague and confusing answer. Why did I expect it to be any different? "Would it hurt anyone else?"

She pauses to think. As if that question wasn't considered before. "I wouldn't see why it would… but again that would depend upon you."

"So this treatment causes you to blush. It is against all the rules. It would probably work. It shouldn't hurt anyone unless I hurt them some how. It is also socially taboo. Does that sum up the situation?" What could be so bad? No wait, I know better… a lot of things. Well what would it hurt to hear what it is?

She nods "Yes that sums it up. I would be happy to do provide the treatment." Her blush worsens. "I just doubt you would want it if I told you."

"Nemu, I have been sick longer than a number of your life times. If there is a way for me to get better, I want to know what it is. I will discuss with you the requirements to get it approved. If I want to do it they won't deny you." I find my self using more force in my voice than I wish to but it is so frustrating.

She looks down and blushes. "I would need to have sex with you."

Not what I thought you were going to say. What are you even saying? How is that a treatment? Why would you even want to with me? How does that make me better? My face is hot now too. I stop shake my mind clear of the many mental images of her naked and underneath me "treating" me. With a sigh I ask, "Nemu, how would that help?"

She looks at me. "I have never gotten sick. The only times my body has had any problems has been when my Captain or someone else poisoned me. I can fight any ill. I learned in my time with Akon that he never got sick the entire time he was having regular physical contact with my sexual fluids, saliva and sweat. I tested it. Since my creation Mayuri also has never been sick. During the months I spent with Ikkaku he never got sick either." She blushes deeply. "I, I could treat you with my fluids. I guess I wouldn't need to have sex with you. I could harvest them and find a method to apply them to you. I have never tested the shelf life of the fluids so that would require figuring out but yes. I would just need to have you make regular contact with my fluids." She blushes and looks away.

I am not strong enough to say no to this. I should. I can name a number of reasons I shouldn't be taking advantage of this girl. I know no matter how I spin this that is what this would be. I would be using her. Not just to get better but for sex too. She is gorgeous. I don't think I could say no to her if she offered. It has been too long. She is too fascinating, too lovely. She thinks she could make be better with her body. I want her. "Nemu, why would you suggest this?"

She looks back up at me. "I want to. I don't mean to say I have feelings for you. I consider you kind and would like to consider you a friend but I'm not secretly crushing on you. I know people get offended when sex is offered without emotions. I do not mean to offend you. I wanted to thank you. I also, selfishly, want to try and do something for someone else that isn't going to hurt them. I want an experiment that is pleasurable for me and the subject. I want a positive outcome." She is blushing but looking at me. "I also would like to ease Captain Kyoraku's worry. I saw his reaction to you. It hurts him to see you cough." She stops and takes a breath, the blood draining from her face and back to normal. She shakes her head while speaking "I'm told that this isn't reason enough. That people have to have feelings of romance otherwise it is wrong. I like you Captain

"Are you saying you won't consider this treatment because while you have no problem having sex with me, you don't want to do something that could be considered wrong?" I really hope she isn't confused on the definition of rape. "Nemu, you don't have to do this. We can stop talking about it right now if you like but you do know that if we did that it wouldn't be rape right?" I can't have sex with this girl. She is just that. She is almost as childish as Lieutenant Kusajishi. I am a sick person for even considering it. Why did she have to be built so well formed?

She stops and looks at me. She spends a few moments considering my words. "What do you mean?"

"Nemu, you offered. You brought this up. If you want it I wouldn't be trapping you in it."

Her eyes go wide and she cuts me off. "No. No-no, I was worried I would hurt you. Taking advantage of you."

This is too absurd. She was worried about taking advantage of me? I start laughing. While laughing I start to talk, "Nemu….Nemu." The laughing turns to coughing and tears.

Seconds into the fit, I feel her hand on my back and she hands me a napkin to cough into, to cough more blood up. Her hands pull my hair from my face and smooth my back.

How could anyone leave her? How could you bring yourself to hurt someone so affectionate and compassionate? One would have to be an evil bastard.

She stays there until I'm better. She isn't disgusted by me. Why should she be? It isn't like she can catch it. She waits till I done to turn back to the table and pours a glass of water which she hands to me. I take a sip and hand it back to her "Thank you."

She just nods. "Captain, I read that a medical person who has sex with a patient is breaking a trust and hurting the patient. While I am not in the fourth, I will be acting as your doctor. I would like to help you but since that would harm you, I can't. I don't know how to continue because I also read that a healer is expected to try and improve the health of those they can. I know I shouldn't be having sex with every sick man in the Seritie but I would like very much to assist You." She touches my face.

I nod and look at her. "Nemu, I-I…." I am too dizzy to think. "I need to lie down."

She nods and picks me up taking me into the hall and swiftly taking me to my room. She lays me down on my bed. "Better?"

"A little more than I needed. I would have been fine with the floor or the couch in my office." I say to her smiling.

"I'm sorry." She looks around the room.

She is such an interesting and beautiful woman. "Can you sit with me?"

She looks around. "On the bed or in a chair?"

"You offered to have sex with me and now you are afraid to sit on the same bed?" I smirk at her.

"One, I did not offer, I merely explained what I was thinking about; and two I'm not scared, I was asking for your preference." She says sitting down next to me.

"Is that some feistiness?" I look at her in shock.

"You gave me with the impression that that was allowed." She says looking at me and moving closer. She isn't defensive just matter of fact.

I nod. "I like it; it was just surprising." I reach out and pet her hair which is right by my face on the pillow.

She looks at me and smiles. "Captain…"

"Please call me Jushiro."

"Jushiro, do you want me to lie down so you can play with more of it?" she motions to her braid with her eyes.

I blush and nod "Yes."

"You can take it out if you want." She lies down on my bed next to me.

"I will at some point, thanks" I flick the end of it and pet it, watching the light shimmer off it. Images of it wrapped around my cock, using it to stroke myself, flash through my mind and I shake my head to get them away. She and I just agreed not to have sex.

"Jushiro?"

I like the way she says my name. "Yes?"

"After you have taken a spell to catch yourself…could you show me where the bath is? I'm filthy and I wouldn't want to mess up your bed." She looks at me.

I nod; we did just agree not to do anything sexual? That is just what this feel like it is becoming. "Nemu?"

"Yes Cap-Jushiro."

"You and I just agreed to not have sex right?"

"I believe we did but I am also under the impression you found that agreement humorous and when people find something funny they tend to not put much stock in it."

"I did agree. I was afraid you would think I was taking advantage of you when you said what you said. Also people tend to believe the male or the older one or the one in a greater position of power is taking advantage of the other in most situations."

"You won't be. I will state that for anyone who wants to hear it." She rolls over and looks down at me. "I like seeing you. Whenever we have crossed paths I have enjoyed it. I want that to continue. I also would like to be the one to make sure it continues." She leans down and kisses me, lightly on the lips. Then leans up and smiles.

It hits me. I have just agreed to some…something regular with this woman who a number times today I thought of as nothing more than a child. Now she is offering to heal me, fuck me. That is a lot to process.

Author's Note: should nothing shiny happen and distract me, in a day or two, the next chapter should be a lemon, Ukitake lemon. Possible flash back lemons too. I also hope to start switching the point of view soon.

No reviews yet. Still gonna do the Nanao/shunsui thing


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